Why similar people attract

This could be why couples have similar views and opinions on paper. Overall, searching for your exact opposite probably isn't the most effective way of finding a partner. The scientific evidence points to opposites barely ever attracting. Besides, if the research is correct, you're probably already attracting all the right people anyway.

For you. World globe An icon of the world globe, indicating different international options. Get the Insider App. Click here to learn more. A leading-edge research firm focused on digital transformation. Good Subscriber Account active since Shortcuts. Back in , scientists from the University of Michigan set out to study the phenomenon of married couples who grow to look more alike over time. Their theory, which scientists still cite today, was that decades of shared emotions result in a closer resemblance due to similar wrinkles and expressions.

But how do so many lookalikes end up together in the first place? Despite the old notion that opposites attract, Indianapolis-based social psychologist Justin Lehmiller, who is a research fellow at the Kinsey Institute and author of Tell Me What You Want , says people naturally gravitate toward people who are familiar, even though the whole process is likely subconscious.

That phenomenon extends to appearance. One study found that to be true. Both male and female participants consistently rated the composite that included their own face as the most attractive. An earlier study reached a similar finding about composite images — and also found that people were subliminally attracted to features of their opposite-sex parent.

Study participants rated images of others as more attractive when a picture of their opposite-sex parent quickly flashed across the screen first, suggesting that they were subconsciously primed by the familiar face. Another study looking at biracial people found that they tended to be attracted to and pair up with people who resemble their parents, regardless of sex. Zara Barrie, a year-old writer who lives in New York City, says she dated at least three women who looked like her.

Barrie is now married to a woman who she says looks nothing like her. According to a new study by various research institutions in Germany, we are attracted to people who are similar to us , as opposed to someone who is our opposite. Yes, your partner actually might look just like your mom, but you also might just be in severe denial about it. The researchers examined how attraction works in the brain by studying how 19 men and 21 women responded to videos of six women exhibiting facial expressions of either fear or sadness.

From there, the volunteers were asked if they wanted to meet these women in real life and, if so, how much did they want to meet them in real life. In other words, the attraction was based on how confident the participants were in understanding the women in the video, an understanding that linked them as opposed to divided them. At least four explanations have received consistent empirical support.

Second, all other things being equal, people more readily expect rejection by dissimilar others than by similar others. As other research has shown, anticipated rejection usually diminishes attraction. Finally, fortune or chance also seems to play a part.